The Things You Hear in a Hospital....

When you are sitting in the hospital day after day, you start really noticing all of the different sounds around you.  Obviously, the first thing you hear are the "bleeps" and "blips" of the machines that measure heartbeat, breathing and control IV fluids.  On the High Risk Pregnancy floor (HRP), you hear more "bleeps" and "blips" from contraction monitors, and even "bleeps" and "blips" that sound like they are submerged under water when they check the baby's heartbeat.  Several times a day, the nurses conduct vitals rounds.  You can hear the steady progression of "bleeps" and "blips" and baby heartbeats making their way around the floor.

But eventually, those "bleeps" and "blips" fade into the background.  I imagine its much like being in a room with a leaky faucet.  The first night, you don't sleep.  You can't concentrate on anything but the "drip, drip, drip" of the faucet.  A few days later, the sound is barely noticeable.  By now, we have to concentrate to hear the baby monitors over the wheeling of beds and scales, banging of food service carts, the "knock-knock" announcements of food service and housekeeping, the arriving helicopters and emergency vehicles, and for a short while (I kid you not) "Karaoke Hour" from a room two doors to the left.

This is how we pictured Fairfax Hospital's "Dr. Red"

Hospitals are also great for announcing things over the intercom.  Perhaps its the school teacher in me, but I when I hear announcements, I always stop what I am doing and listen.  Most people, my students included, can ignore intercom announcements like they aren't even there.  I once watched hundreds of people ignore / fail to hear fire alarms at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.  Regardless, Lisa and I noticed that one particular doctor was more in demand than others.  His name was "Dr. Red".  "Dr. Red" was needed in the pharmacy.  Two days later, "Dr. Red" was needed on the third floor, radiology.  At 11:30pm, "Dr. Red" was needed in Labor and Delivery.  I didn't know who "Dr. Red" was, but that guy was all over this hospital.  We eventually figured out that there was no way "Dr. Red" could be a real person, and that it had to be code for something.  I asked one of the nurses, and was told "Dr. Red" was a fire drill for staff.  There's no way to conduct one on an entire hospital, so at Fairfax, they rotate fire drills from floor to floor, department to department.  A few days after learning about this, "Dr. Red" was called to Lisa's floor at about 6:30 in the morning.

Lisa has also heard some other rather strange announcements.  One afternoon a few weeks ago, Lisa learned via intercom that staff was to be on the lookout for a female intruder in a flowered dress and yellow hat.  Another drill.  A real life "Where's Waldo".  There was also an escaped patient announcement for staff to be on the lookout for a 47 year old Caucasian male.  We're not sure if that was a drill or not.  Perhaps that was from the mysterious 4th floor that none of the elevators stop at.

We also hear lots of laughter from the nurses station right outside our door.  By in large, almost everyone we've encountered here at Fairfax Hospital has been friendly, caring and most importantly happy.  You'd think it would be easy for a place like a hospital to be a dismal and quiet.  But the staff here is great, and go above and beyond to make your time here, no matter how long it is, as enjoyable as possible.