The doctors all asked the same questions: "Any pain? Any contractions? Any bleeding? Any leaking of fluids?" The first few days, when I heard the word contraction, I'd cringe. If they were talking contractions, they were concerned about preterm labor. Thankfully, we haven't had to answer yes to any contractions. After a week of these questions, Lisa was getting antsy. We wanted to know their plan for us. We didn't particularly care what the plan was as much as we wanted to know that there was one.
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| Dr. Frankencrocs did NOT inspire confidence! |
About now, you're probably wondering who exactly Dr. Frankencrocs is. When Lisa and I were waiting on the doctor to check her cervix, before we were admitted, a guy in scrubs caught our attention. I've told you we're avid people-watchers right? In an empty hallway, there was a young guy with long hair and a beard just pacing back and forth. He probably never would have caught our eye, except that his scrubs were too short for him. Not short if the toilet overflowed, or if the pipes in the sink burst, but too short for just walking around. He was also wearing giant black crocs. The rubber shoes that a lot of nurses wear at the hospital, but they usually are colorful. Not these. They were just functional black crocs. They looked like Frankenstein boots, only crocs. And they were made all the more prominent by the capri scrubs the guy was wearing.
He certainly didn't seem to be doing much, and we joked that he probably just ran files for the doctors or ran errands for them. A few days later, he came into Lisa's room and introduced himself as a doctor from the practice. He told Lisa that an ultrasound a few days previously showed that her cervix had gone from 2.5 to 3.0. But that's it. Lisa was a little confused, so she asked the nurse when she came in to check her vitals. The nurse shook her head, and said that he didn't know anything and that he was just a student. Lisa and I had a good laugh over that.
A few days later, we got a visit from Dr. Khoury, the head of maternal-fetal medicine at the hospital. He checked Lisa's cervix, and after consulting with Dr. Nies, decided Lisa was an excellent candidate for a "cerclage" - basically a stitch in the cervix that prevents it from opening prematurely. This was exciting to us because many patients who get a cerclage get to go home. The cerclage was scheduled with Dr. Khoury for 10am the next morning. (Can you sense the karma coming?)
The cerclage itself was described as a minor surgical procedure; Lisa would get a spinal - similar to what doctors give to patients having a cesarean delivery, and then stitch the cervix closed. They came in early to start Lisa on an IV, and took her downstairs for the procedure. We were talking to the nurses and anesthesiologist, and learned that Dr. Nies would be doing the procedure instead of Dr. Khoury. We were told the doctor would come and go over the procedure with us before Lisa went back for surgery. Instead of Dr. Khoury, or Dr. Nies...or Dr. Bronksy....or Dr. Al Kouatly....or the newest member of the practice, Dr. Shah...or even Dr. Seuss for that matter....who do you think walked in? Yep. Dr. Frankencrocs....capri scrubs and all. At this point, we'd have been happier to see Dr. Phil, or even Dr. Dre.
Lisa's eyes almost popped out of her head. She didn't even have to say anything; I knew exactly what she was thinking: "why did the nurse have to tell me that he didn't know anything"? Lisa went from feeling confident about the procedure to terrified in a matter of seconds. It turns out Dr. Frankencrocs did perform the procedure, under the watchful eye of Dr. Nies. The procedure was a success, but it certainly wasn't textbook. But nothing about our pregnancy had been textbook, so it was just par for the course. But more about the procedure later...
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