Call...don't fall.

Caution: Fall Alert

You certainly can't question Fairfax Hospital's commitment to its practices.  A couple of weeks ago, I showed up at the hospital after work and was face to face with a big red sign reading "Caution - Fall Alert" on Lisa's door.  Its pretty much universally understood that falling is not good if you're old or you're pregnant.  Lisa is looking very pregnant these days, and getting around certainly isn't as easy as it used to be.  Fearing the worst, I opened the door and asked Lisa if she had fallen during the day.  Thankfully she hadn't.

One of the medicines that Lisa is taking is a blood thinner that can cause dizziness.  The nurses on 6 East had decided to launch an aggressive "campaign" against patient falls.  As a result, the "Fall Alert" signs went up on a number of doors around the floor.  Every time a nurse came in, they reminded Lisa that they were just a phone call away.  Clever signs with phrases such as "Call, Don't Fall" were placed around the room as a subtle reminder.

Additionally, Lisa is now required to wear non-slip socks to prevent her from doing a Freddy Flintstone across the floor on her way to the bathroom.  They look like army-issue, and from across the room the top and bottom look more like tank tread than socks.  I've seen less tread on truck tires.  You could run track in these things.  She was getting a new pack every day, which was fine by me...less laundry that I had to do!

I know I poke fun at the nurses and their policies, but I am happy to know they do care and are trying to do everything they can to keep Lisa and Payton safe.  The signs are great, even if they did scare me to death the first time I saw them.  Its comforting to know that the "Fall" police are on duty, because I know my wife, and how she likes to get a running start and "Risky Business" it across the floor.

Mike Nicely, Sherpa.

If for some reason the whole teaching thing doesn't work out, all of this time in the hospital with Lisa has given me new job training.  I have no doubt that I could make it as a full-fledged sherpa.  My trip in from the car to the hospital room involves walking through a parking garage, over a bridge that crosses the entrance road, two or three elevator rides depending on the level I park on, and a stop at a security door to smile for the camera in order to be let in to Lisa's floor.  You do not want to make that trip more than once if you can avoid it.

A Nepalese Sherpa carrying his pack
on a mountain expedition

Over seven weeks, you bring and remove many things from a hospital.  Plants and flowers, bags of dirty and clean clothes, computers, homework, bags of food and drinks, and even a couple of big carpet samples are among the many things I've hauled in from the garage.  Surprisingly, for someone as clumsy as I am, I haven't spilled anything, tripped on anything, or doused anyone with a soda or two. 

You get a lot of weird looks when you are carrying a briefcase, overnight bag, carpet samples and a milkshake into a crowded hospital.  But its ok, I don't mind.  If there weren't a bunch of people on the elevator with me, I'm doubtful I would have been able to press the button for Lisa's floor.  I've been trying to come up with a solution; I wonder how funny I'd look hauling around a bunch of things in a Radio Flyer like Dennis the Menace.

Of course, I did drop a small colored square of carpet sample somewhere in the hospital.  This resulted in a scavenger hunt, retracing my steps back to the garage.  I did find it, by the way, about 20 feet from my car in the middle of the parking garage.  This couldn't have happened during a late night visit when no one was around.  The garage was packed, naturally, and lots of eyes were there to watch me walk around and randomly stop in the middle of the road to pick up a 4" piece of carpet, only return back into the hospital.  I'm undoubtedly the crazy guy who carries a bunch of crap into the hospital in some other patient's "The things you see in the hospital" blog.

Maybe I should get that wagon after all.

Status Quo...

If you've been following our blog, you know that our pregnancy has been an eventful one from conception.  Its been a little while since our last post, and I am happy to report that we have maintained the status quo.  We're over 26 weeks pregnant now, which is incredibly exciting.  A week and a half until our next big milestone at 28 weeks.  We're learning more and more about Payton; spicy food gives her hiccups, and she doesn't care much for the evening vitals.  Every night we not only hear the heartbeat, we also hear what sounds like a kickboxing match between her and the heart monitor.

Today marks 6 weeks since Lisa was admitted, and we have settled into a decent routine to make this all as manageable as possible.  Family and friends have been very supportive, making sure we are well fed, sending us things to do, and taking care of our pets, Ruby and Vegas.  Lisa is handling the days as best as she can, although I think her patience is growing thin with dining services.  We avoid them all together in the evening, and during lunch when possible.  I'm sure they mean well, but its hospital food, and we all know hospital food has been a running joke since the beginning of hospitals.  Personally, I think hospital food is the encouragement they provide to get you better (or at least get you thinking you are feeling better) and get the heck out of here.  Thank goodness for takeout and delivery...even at the hospital! 

And as for me...well I went from having one home to three.  I go from work to the hospital every day, and stay with Lisa until 10:30, travel home to my mom's because it is closer to the hospital and work and sleep there.  Once a week I make the trip back home to Spotsylvania for a whirlwind day of spending time with the cat, cutting the grass, and preparing the house and nursery for Lisa and Payton.  Some days I feel like the Tazmanian Devil cartoon, and I'm sure on most others I look like him.  I know on paper (or in this case in print) it sounds bad, and when people hear how I spend my days, they shake their heads.  But it could be worse.  True, here's never any down time, and yes, I'm always running around from place to place, but from everything I read and all the stories I hear from people with children...this isn't going to change even after Payton gets here.